Wow! Thanks to everyone who has been reading this blog! Got on just to see if anyone left a message or something and bam! Saw a ton of people looked at this! Probably due to the half arsed Space Marine review, but it still makes me happy! So you guys are getting new art and another review! Hope no one minds retro games as that's really all I play anymore as Call of Duty and Halo have become as stimulating as watching my cat nap. Which all -that- does is make me want to nap, which sadly, most of today's games do that to me.

 Assuming no one cares, here we go. Today's half arsed review from the Geek and her Machine, is SWAT Kats for the Snes. Now, growing up, I watched the cartoon all the time. All.The.Time. I never missed an episode, even if I had just seen the same one the day before. What tiny, bispeceled nerdy girl child didn't like a show about anthromorphic felines cruising around in a bad ass jet fighting super gross villians that the local law enforcement was too inept to handle? Okay, maybe not a lot of anyone, as most folks i ask "have you seen SWAT Kats?" look at me like I'm insane or from the stone age.

 So, when my mother handed me a badly wrapped Snes shaped package for whatever occasion it was, I about flipped my shit finding out there was a game for my favorite childhood cartoon! Now, this was about 5 years ago, so I was already in college at the time, but that did not keep me from prancing around the house like a school girl having her first boyfriend. If only I knew this game would be the shittiest date ever, minus E.T., but we'll cover that another time...

 What you have to realise is that this game tried. To be fair it kind of felt like the show, if only for the fact that you play as either T-Bone or Razor. Which to choose you ask? Razor. Now this is not because he has been my favorite of the two since the begining of time, but because of what he gets. T-Bone is slow and can barely jump but comes with a rocket launcher. Cool right? Hell.No. You can't aim it and most enemies shrug it off and by the time you have it stronger, you just want to rage quit the game. So what does Razor get? A jump pack. Yes, I picked a jump pack over a rocket launcher. Believe me, it comes in handy. Especially when a pair of stairs is kicking your ass. Stupid subway...

 There are four worlds, with a fifth one you unlock after you beat the others, or so I assume. The game was so terrible I've yet to beat it. The game itself is a side scrolling platformer, which honestly, works I suppose. Until you get to the Turbocat, the jet. trying to get to the giant bacteria was so stupid ans nauseating I almost didn't finish that level. Neither did my brother who is the champion at games in our household. The controls are subpar too, but it's an Snes game, so that's a given. The levels aren't much better, often turning out to be a total cluster f*ck in erms of enemies or they are positioned terribly to where you can't hit them, but they can hit you and your one hit wonder self. Really, whoever designed the subway area should be ashamed of themselves for that. Worst stage in the game.
 There's not a whole lot more I can say about this awful game seeing that there was no plot, no character intereaction, nothing, seeing as it's for the Snes. I only still try to play it as I loved the show so much. So in short: Show is amazing (go watch it on you tube!), game blows hard. Now if you guys are enjoying these half baked reviews, be sure to follow me and leave comments about what i should play and review next, be it old or newish. Also, what art would you like to see on here? And I promise, some sewing will eventually get done for those who come looking for that. Ciao! <3 you guys!

Long time no read, dear readers. Once more I am sorry for the delay, but this time the Geek has come back with something to write about! As you all know, the machine in Geek and the Machine, normally stands for my sewing machine, who is on break due to all the sewing I did for Ohayocon. This segment, her stand in is my trusty PS3. Yes, I game on a PS3, as lame as a lot of people think. The controller fits better in my itty bitty raptor claw hands, okay? Anyways, on to todays topic: Warhammer 40,000 Space Marine.

  Let me say it right now, I am not a fan of Space Marines. I play Sisters of Battle and Guard, and I'm not into all the hype Marines get, or how everyone floods on the newest codex army. However, that did not stop me from absolutely adoring the Space Marine video game. The story was Grim Dark in the fact that you and your fellow Ultramarines show up on a decimated planet to stop an ork WAAAGH! from getting the Titans. And spoliler alert! A chaos Lord shows up to ruin everything. The charcters were as good as you'd expect from everyone being a Marine or guard, and two Inquisitors. Though the A.I. for your cohorts outside of cutscenes is......frankly awful.

 Really, the A.I. is my biggest issue. I was constantly getting shot by traitor guard and ork boys due to my newbie Marine Leandros blocking me constantly. And there was one special moment when he glitched some what and decided walking in circles in the Manufactorum while the Seargant and I watched him. And Drogen wasn't much better, as he loved having herds of squiggs around him and not shooting them. At least until they were on your's trully.

 Now, I know a good bit of you probably alreay played the game, but I don't want to ruin the ending for anyone, however, the ending made me rage. The blow was only softened by Black Templars being pretty for me. What? I may not be a big fan of Marines in general, but Templars are my weakness. I do however find fault with them doing nothing to help me fight off chaos. The blood ravens did but no Templars. Story of my life.

  The gameplay was fun, geeky running around chainsawing Orks. It was fun, the executions making me giddy. I'm not a violent person at all, but when I game i tend to get excited. Wow, that sounded a little bit like Codex....

Well, that's all I have for today, but I should be back here in a day or so with at least a few sewing updates!